April 8th, 2035
My Apartment, Mid-City
Dear Diary,
So this bar rookie came back to the Bunsen and Beaker last night.
You know the type.
The kind of kid who hasn't figured what belongs in a shotglass and a pint. So he swirls it all together and chugs.
Gawky kid.
Usually with a group of fellow collegiates- frat guys who think they want a fight. Usually just shoot their mouths off before shooting Patron. Thinks it makes 'em some kind of high-roller. They have a weird assumed maturity after ordering such expensive crap, so it shuts them up for a while.
Anyway. The kid... Name started with a J... Jared? No. Jefferey? Sure, let's go with that.
He comes barreling in. Annoyingly sing-songy. Orders a Corona and a Four Horse Men. He's talking to anyone close to him. Super hyper.
I'm setting up the last shot and notice his hand is all bandaged. Hard not to. He's waving it around like a badge of honor.
So I ask him; what's up?
The kid, I mean Jeffery, cracked this wide-ass grin. Started jabbering on about a camping trip he and his buddies just came back from. Their first time out of the city.
He was taking a piss behind a tree and heard a rustle in the branches above. Flashed his phone at it and these "glowing green eyes" were staring at him.
Ugly creature hanging from its tail. Had a snout covered in bubbles. Not a lot of fur. Jeffery got so excited he climbed the tree. It hissed. He stretched out his hand. Got bit.
My regulars groaned.
Jeffery was one of THOSE.
There's a whole CNM watch for people like him. I'm usually asleep during it.
See, Discovery Channel's Mutant Week runs once a year. Stirs up the imagination.
Afterward, a whole lot of ordinary folk go out to find the 'radioactive creature' who, once bit, turns them into a Superperson.
Except, that's crap.
And stupid.
We all saw what happened to Spiderman...
'Death by Insistenced Bite' is one of the highest growing causes of death worldwide. It beats out death by death-ray malfunction. Beats out lightning strikes (even when increased by Thor's fighting with his newest girlfriend). Even beats out death by cattle.
Told Jeffery it was probably a possum.
He should shoot his four whiskys and drink his beer.
Then head to the clinic down the street for a rabies shot. Maybe some antibiotics.
He laughed.
Said WE were the crazy ones.
He'd come back and show us how "awesome" he is "once the powers took hold". Then he left.
Damn kids. Can't convince them of anything.
A couple regulars discussed calling it into CNM. Put him on the Watch, just in case.
I shrugged them off.
If the possum had drooled acid... Whole body lit up green... Sure. Sounded like a normal wild animal to me.
I guess they agreed. The subject faded into the sudden stock fall of LexCorp.
There's talk Elm St. is going to open tomorrow. I can finally get my lavender-cherry scone fix. A little bakery over there rocks it. Glad they're back. It's been two months.
I hope they chipped away all the lava...
Cheers for a tomorrow,
Penny
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